parenting

it's one thing to pastor a group of teenagers and something very different to have teenager children in your home.

so my challenge is not to react, but to be proactive in my parenting. i can not lose my joy or my peace. they are my strength and my stability.

prayer is needed.

until next time.....

a rich day....

i had a weed that became a tree over the last 5 years. it grew right beside my home and for the last couple of years has been rubbing against my home and the shingles. i got a bid on cutting the tree out. it was $325. i laid in bed thinking, "i could go buy a pole saw from one of the box stores and save money." so that's what i did. yesterday morning i let my 13 year old stay home from school and she, Luke (my almost 2 year old) and myself went to the store. so what did I do yesterday? spent time with my daughter and wife cutting down a tree and then clipping all the branches into small, manageable pieces. it was hard work, but very rewarding spending that time with my favorite two ladies.

then I spent the afternoon at a local high school football practice. the coach has invited me in on a weekly basis to do a team devotion before each game. what an honor. i thought it would be well served to visit them during practice and be visible. they have taken to me and me to them. i love that group of guys. one young man told me that he goes to church, but because of school commitments he can't make it to his youth group. he essentially told me that i was his youth pastor. i melted a bit inside. i did not perceive myself in such a way. nothing quite like a statement like that to shock you into the reality and influence of one's leadership.

after praying for some of the injuries and chatting I went home and grilled steaks with Luke. I had dinner wtih my family. It was at the dinner table no less (which is getting harder for us to do as a family.) then i topped my evening off by sitting in my living room during my favorite part of the day. it was about 9:30pm. Luke was asleep. Matt and Sara were hanging out together (that's a beautiful miracle), my wife was relaxing with a book. i turned on some worship music, living room lights down low and a cup of hot black chai tea. i prayed. i reflected on my day. i felt richer than Warren Buffet and Bill Gates.

i love God. i love life. i love my kids. i love my wife. thank you Jesus. i give you all the crediit.

until next time.....

am i insane?

i just finished sending an email to a friend who would like to know what i am going to discuss at revolution (our student ministry meeting) so they would know how to pray.

i compiled my information and sent it off to them. after doing so i immediately thought, "that sounds like a great book." am i insane? i have not even scratched the surface of the first book, much less begin to work on a second.

this is what i am concerned about. my style of leadership will get bored with one subject or idea and immediately move on to another. follow through is not a strength. help?

i must stay devoted to the original title and keep this other subject on the back burner. that's really hard, because my original book thought was concerning dreams and passions. am i getting the dream of writing books. oh God help me......

until next time....

the dream thing

i have been playing this one key song for some time. if not in public, for sure in my heart and mind. it's the one key of dreaming. i have been asked, "what do you dream about?" many times i don't have an answer. what have i learned? that it's much easier to motivate others to dream and not really dream yourself. i have learned the behavior of hiding behind others. i hate to admit it, but i do. there have been times where i have hidden behind the gifts and talents of others. when doing so i am void of responsibility and have not the ability to fail. i also have no ability to succeed. so how sweet does success taste? it must be more sweet that the bitter taste of disappointment.

dreams are a big part of this. we dream, but do not want to disappointment. how do i prepare for disappointment when i am planning to do something risky? how do i look at the mountain of potential hurt or rejection and still mount up the stallion of faith and charge the mountain? faith does not ignore the mountain, it simply charges it.

the new adidas commercials are very kingdom minded, even if they do not know it. i like the story of reggie bush and gilbert arenas as they talk about their emergence into their professional sports. the commercials conclude with the phrase, "impossible is nothing."

that must be how i view my dreams. the prisons and pits that i live in today are promotional opportunities for palaces. some of my greatest assets are the people who dislike me the most. why? because in their persecution, my determination and belief in the dream are tested.

have you ever wondered what joseph thought when he had his dream of leadership as a teen boy? did he know that it would take him to egypt? did he know that his brothers would despise him and sell him into slavery?

could God have gotten joe to egypt some other way than selling him into slavery? after all, he had a destiny and mandate for national leadership. i would think, that God could get me into my dream world in a more pleasant and comfortable way. nope; not God's style. his style is one of tests and tribulations. james said we should consider it all joy. perhaps the key to thriving in the midst of difficulty is what we are considering. do we consider him who is faithful? do we consider our circumstances over our vision? do we consider the devil and his attempts at embezzling our dream or do we fix our eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith? it was in a day that joseph went from the pit to the palace. it can be in a moment, when God has seen our endurance, our faithfulness, our perseverance and our pursuit of him that he unlocks the doors of promotion and puts in a place of leadership. the dream world can be the real world. the choice is ours. God help me stay focused on you and all that you are doing in my life. let the intimacy i have with you lead me with confidence and assurance into storms and difficulties. if jesus can sleep in the midst of a death storm so can I. not because i am ignorant, but because i am a peacemaker and peace keeper. i believe Him who is able to keep that which i have committed to him until the day of his promotion.

until next time.....

not writing

well i wanted to write today, i really did, but i didn't. i got distracted with some other things. they were productive, but not in the area of writing. i guess i am going to write when i feel the inspiration. i live a lot by the calendar, but somehow writing doesn't seem to appreciate my need for a schedule. i will try again next week.

frustrating? yes, a little.

until next time....

writing

working on my book tomorrow. i am not sure of a title. it's about dreamers and dreaming. i have several things to listen to tomorrow. i listen to them because they are inspirational and they stir my mind and heart. as i said in the first or second blog entry, this blog is a step towards fulfilling the mandate to write.

i would appreciate any comments you may have about my posts. good or bad, the input is helpful.

what would you title a book about dreaming? it's not literal "night dreaming", but living for that passion. living for what makes you burn.

until next time.....

early morning prayer

i woke up early this morning. 4:15 am! i have been waking up at that hour for many days now. i do know that the Holy Spirit is inviting me to something. honestly, i usually toss and turn until i go back to sleep, but today i knew that God was inviting me to spend some time with him. so i got up, found a worship cd, turned it down low and prayed.

it was very good.

graham cooke shared with us in september that we were in a "and suddenly" moment, in our church and in our lives personally. never a "truer" statement has been said. there are many questions that i have in my heart. many decisions that i am processing. there is much that needs to be transformed and transfigured in my life, heart and leadership.

confession? i over analyze things. i am cautious about the paths in front of me because i am leading with the mind and not the spirit. this gets back to my other post entitled "jump". read that for context with this post. i know i should not be led with the mind and reason, but it is very, very hard. so this morning was sharing those open emotions with my dad and letting his peace rest in my heart. i want to be a peacemaker first, a peacekeeper second.

this morning at 5:00 am i also experience the purest form pleasure i could imagine. i thought about my kids and how truly incredible they are. i love them. not for what they do, but for who they are. are they perfect? no, but they are mine. are they pursuing God the way i want? no, but they are mine. are they studying as hard as may like? i don't know, but they are mine. in knowing they are mine, i know they are HIS. i love them. I told Matt and Sara today that they are a good son and a good daughter. I am glad I have them. As for Luke, he is no less a pleasure. I love the way he is beginning to talk. I love his soft, tender skin, his complexion, his blue eyes, his blonde hair, the way he runs, the way he laughs, the way he says, "Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad" (in rapid succession.) above are a few pics of my pleasure.

i have said lately that the night watches of prayer are the best. if i truly believe that, then i should have more of them at home. i think i will......

until next time.....

running with others

last night was young adult group at the babin's new home. as it is with the kingdom and with life, it's difficult to communicate the quality and the love of that meeting. our format last night was for those to share their favorite passages of scripture.

we heard:

james 1 (the message)
psalm 27
romans 8
psalm 65

there were others but i can't remember what they were. after reading the passages we had a time of response to the word while listening to Rick Pino's "Angels of Awakening."

it was an incredible night and we were experiencing God at a spiritual level, soulish level and physical level.

i love our young adults. they are high quality. they are passionate lovers. they are growing and maturing and becoming the crowns of all of God's creation. i looked around the room and just thought about how much i love them and how honored i am to be one of their leaders. i reflect on how much they have grown. how the young ladies are becoming princesses and will make incredible wives and mothers some day. the young men are growing stronger and more powerful. they will make awesome husbands and fathers.

this feels like why i am alive. to give leadership and help establish the culture of the kingdom in the lives of people.

to the young adults of church of the hills.....I love you and count it an honor to run with you.

until next time.....

in honor of....

if you are like me you have noticed the many "pink" events going on, or the "pink" items for sale. it's breast cancer awareness month. you may be wondering why i am writing about this issue. i guess i am writing today to honor my mom, who died from breast cancer just over two years ago.

this post is dedicated to her.

she was an amazing woman. the short version is that my mom and divorced when i was very young, 4 or 5. i have two older siblings and they were around 11 and 13 when my parents divorced. needless to say, as the baby of the family i was spoiled.

my mom poured tremendous amounts of love into my life. she is my hero. she was tenacious, wise and kind. life dealt her, at times, a difficult hand, but she played with courage and conviction. there are many, many stories i could share, but i would like to share this one.

near the end of her life, she would often "space" out. i am not sure if you have been around someone facing death and slowly dying, but i have. my mom would watch things around the room, but nothing would be there. i believe, as my mom got closer to death, she was beginning to see into that "invisible" spiritual realm. i know she was seeing angels.

during this two week time, my wife and i were expecting our third child. my mom deeply, deeply loved her grandkids. we were hoping she would live to see Luke's birth, but she did not make it. however, she told us the story, about a week before her death, of when the angel showed up in the front yard and let her see the baby. it's a wild story and one that would lengthen this post considerably. needless to say, i believe my mom saw Luke before we did. she could not stop talking about how beautiful the baby was.

i am grateful to God for my mom. i simply do not how to talk about her because she exceeds the english vocabulary. i love her. i miss her. i dedicate my life to in a way that honors her legacy. i am thankful that women around the word will get check-ups because of "breast cancer awareness", but i am more thankful that in the midst of tragedy we have an awareness of God's sustaining grace and supernatural power. i would rather focus on the cure than the cancer. i prayed for my mom's healing. it happened. not the way i wanted, but i know she lives today cancer free. she walks the streets with angels, my grandmother, jesus and countless others who have overcome death because of Jesus.

THANK YOU JESUS!


until next time....

learning...

i love learning. i did not do well in college. why? because i was immature. i couldn't handle my freedom. i like what a friend of mine says, "freedom is about managing choices." maturity is about making the right choices and honoring the relationship i have with myself, my family, my finances, my destiny, etc.

but back to learning. i love reading articles, blogs and various news sites. i confess i visit drudgereport.com about 5-6 times a day. i am a news junkie. i listen to talk radio when i can. any kind. i watch c-span and boring committee meetings about useless things to my day to day living.

i love learning because i value intellect. i do not value it over faith, but i want to be known as smart. why is that important to me? am i trying to validate a bad college experience?

my wife is brilliant as well as my 3 kids. i better learn or i'll be the "dumb" one in my family.

i also waste a lot of paper in my reading and learning. i print articles and read them. i would rather have a hard copy in my hand and not read it on my computer screen. you never know, i might want to write on it, or jot down a question.

so all in all, i love learning and asking questions. i think it's biblical? jesus asked many questions? he was smart.

until a more intellectual next time....

ranting....

there are many things i would like to say about what i am experiencing and feeling, but the nature of this format will not allow me to do that. God has me in a very uncomfortable position. many things seem to be out of control. i know that's an exaggeration, however, there are things going on in my family and in my work that are stretching me. what's ironic, is that i know there is more room to be stretched. i am not close to the breaking point....yet.

the Lord is good. His ways are good. i need to get to my "inner room" and re-evaluate purposes, strengths, gifting and desires.

i've typed several sentences and "erased" all of them. this blog is a bit to introspective for my own spiritual health.

let's see.............
my family is healthy.
my marriage is good.
i am financially stable.

life really is pretty good.

what i do feel is lonely at times. there are issues that i would like to discuss, but with whom? i have friends, but the nature of these issues are sensitive enough that i have to be very selective. i need some good counsel.

until next time....

back in the saddle

i'm back.

it was a great time of relaxing and resting with my wife, Darlene. we saw beautiful scenery, visited some great friends and enjoyed a great conference.

here are the highlights:

> Blake and Bonnie are doing very well. We found out they are going to be parents.
> i still think in'n'out burgers are overrated.
> there's not a great place to eat in fortuna, california
> the drive down "the avenue of the giants" was very cool. basically we drove through the redwood forest.
> we met an elderly man in his 70's at lunch. he sat at our table and encouraged. he has two sons who are pastors, a grandson who is pursuing ministry. all of his family is serving God and working to the benefit of others. i want a legacy like that.
> clif bars are my favorite new snack
> freedom is managing choices
> everyone needs a jonathan, a nathan and an armor bearer
> "grasshopper" vision does not serve anyone well (numbers 13)
> kingdom of God is at war with fear
> "train a child in the way they should go..." and make sure they go POWERFULLY
> "people without vision perish, dreams without courage die." Rosa Parks
> trying to protect rules = religion. trying to protect relationships = LOVE

....and finally....

> "fairy stories are not so much a journey into enchanted forests, but a journey into our own soul." Tolkien


more coming later.


- lance