regional young adult event

i would love to see something like this in austin. what do you think????

funny faces

this is a bit old, but i love it. it's short. it's luke eating a lime. i love him.....

feeling safe...

i know i mentioned a blog or two ago about Luke (my 2 year old) running outside and swinging the bat. i was curious about whether he felt safe enough by his home life to adventure into dangerous areas?

well last night my wife and i had dinner with some friends in our church. they are a tad bit older than us, not much, but they feel like a mother and father in the faith. i told them that every time we are around them we always feel safe, protected and loved. it's a great feeling. i can not describe what it is like to be in a church environment where vulnerability is valued and guarded. sure, sure, i know, you can't be vulnerable with everyone. but there are times when it feels as if you have to be guarded, particularly as a leader in vocational ministry.

relationships are key in this new culture of the supernatural and revival. relational infrastructure is the key. how do you do that organically? how do you be intentional about it, yet let it happen at the same time? how do we get our people to a place where we mutually encourage each other, love on each other and most importantly create relationships that are attractive to God and the presence of God?

This seems important. I know that these principles have been discussed for years. they certainly are not new. but like a marriage, there are things you know, but you still must address them again and see that they do not become stale. i feel that way about some of our church. no, it's not stale, but we can't afford to be stale. these simple concepts of relationships, trust, love, vulnerability, etc. are important and need the freshness of God on them.

that's what i am thinking about today.

until next time.....

the adventure of a two year old

a couple of days ago i was sitting at this computer in my home. i was typing up a blog (i think) and my oldest son was sitting next to me playing some computer game. we were waiting to go somewhere. my wife was finishing up her last minute get-ready-details and my daughter was looking at books. while matt and i were at the computer, matt looked up and saw my youngest, luke, running down the sidewalk in front of my home. he had found matt's old aluminum baseball bat. it was scratched, dinged and scuffed from the many baseball games in our neighborhood. luke did not care, nor do i think he even noticed. he's only 2. i asked matt to go chase him down. as matt approached him, luke stopped and began to swing the bat. not at matthew, but at the imaginary pitch that was coming his way. i think he hit a home run. at least that's what i choose to believe.

the larger point to this story, beyond the happy memory, is this: does luke feel so safe with his home environment that he feels comfortable living our home, without supervision or permission and swing the baseball bat? is there a place of private security and safety in him that actually releases to him the vision of going alone and swinging the bat? i wonder if at times, i am missing the intimacy with God that i have and so i never adventure to swing the spiritual bat. have i lost the ability to imagine because my mind is soiled with fears, doubt and what-ifs? how do we as adults and followers of jesus live in the reality of God's safety and security so that when we adventure from home (the place of hiddenness and comfort) we go swing the bat with boldness and courage.

i laughed when i saw him outside. i was also immediately aware of the dangers. as a parent the potential dangers never leave your mind. but how do i help him be free? how do i help encourage the imagination that will lead him to dangerous places and risky adventures?

i know....he's only 2. but at that age, i feel it important to keep him safe, secure, protected and loved. but i also want him to risk and confront his fears (such as the stuffed mickey mouse, larger than him that we saw at the mall christmas shopping.) mom and dad are always there to catch him, just as God is always there to catch us.

i had another observation about my oldest, matt. i found it particularly interesting how he noticed luke outside. matt knows the danger "out there." he knows the risks. yet, he willingly and joyfully went to get him. i think matt is very pastoral and sensitive. i think God was letting me see a bigger picture of what is the destiny of my two sons. adventure, love, community, safety, risk and courage. my two sons are fantastic. i love them deeply. may God help me raise them to a place where they are bold enough to leave home and tackle the imaginary pitches in life.

Swing the bat Sons! Never go down looking at life's pitches, but swing. too many people strike out because they are afraid of striking out. swing....always swing!

until next time....

fear, risk, courage, vision.....

today we had our "bane" family christmas. it was at my uncle's home. my dad and stepmom were there. my sister and her family. my brother and his wife. it was the usual family members. i was particularly interested in seeing one person, my cousin Brian. Brian is a tall, slender and handsome young guy. He is 27 and married to a beautiful young woman. Brian is a graduate from UH with a political science degree. Well 2 days ago, while playing golf with my bro, dad and uncle (brian's dad) my uncle told us that brian had joined the army. i was shocked and pleased all at one time. i was wondering, "why do I feel such pride in this decision? he is not my son. we are close, but not that close."

well brian was at the gathering today. i enjoyed talking to him. i began to pepper him with questions about his decision to join the army. what were his motivations? what did he want to do? how did his wife feel about this? was this for a career or just for a time? the questions continued. i guess the biggest reason for this post today had to do with the question that i never asked him...."how are you managing your fears?" I am not sure if that's even the right question. as followers of Jesus we do not manage fears, but overcome them. so i was not interested in his management skills as much as i was how he found courage and hope in the midst of danger and risk.

see brian is joining special forces. he is doing basic in georgia. then airborne school and many other challenges. he actually has to go through some torture treatment as part of his development. i am not suggesting that i approve or disapprove of these tactics, but simply to say that i was thinking of the many fears, risks and challenges that he will face. he knows they are there. he admitted as much. he also said, "you only live once." he also said, which i find powerful, "i know that this is going to be difficult, but it's what i need to do to get where i want to be." awesome! i love it when people mount up on the stallion of courage, perseverance and vision and ride through challenge. his development will be amazing to watch.

i am very proud of Brian. again, i am not sure where this measure of pride comes from. we did not really grow up together, but we know each other. he is a solid, christian young man.

his long term goal is to work in some sort of governmental security agency. maybe CIA or NSA. i pray that Brian advances the kingdom of God while serving our country and the global cause for freedom.

blogging, journalling, digital diary, etc......

sometimes i'm not sure of the purpose for blogging. is it my journal? am i to dispense information and thoughts? do i ask questions about other things?

part of my misunderstanding of the blogging world is because of how many blogs i read and how different they are. i know, i know, there is not absolute law as to how one blogs or what they write about. just confessing my misunderstanding. part of this comes up because i was wanting to know.....

does anyone have a "kindle?" it's the new reader by amazon. it will hold a couple of hundred books, download articles, etc. it seems very cool and handy. pricey, but pretty cool. i was just wondering if there was any buzz out there.

anyone have a thought about the "kindle" they would like to share?

if you are not familiar with the kindle here is a link for you: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FI73MA/sr=53-1/qid=1196134603/

until next time....

light vs. darknenss

You know, as i do, that when we turn on a light there is not great argument or wrestling match between the two forces. the power switch is turned on, the filament in the bulb begins to glow and light displaces darkness. i am grateful for that. how many of you have stubbed a toe while walking in a dark room?

even in the midst of darkness though, God has created the human eye to grab any light that may be in the room to help us see. we may see dimly in a darkened room, but we see. somehow there is a discernment that we must live with. that even in the midst of a dark environment, my workplace, my family, my personal condition, etc. i can still discern light and therefore i begin to "see" more clearly. it may be a dim perspective, but it is one. i do not propose that this idea of seeing dimly is the apex of spiritual intimacy and purpose, but simply to state that when life is dark around us, what speck of light is there that is wanting to help us see?

jesus is the light of the world. he helps people see while they are in dark places. he helps me see when i am in a dark place. part of what i see is the need to confess. sometimes what is i see is the need to love. sometimes what i see is the need to be still and be quiet. sometimes what i see is the need to encourage. sometimes what i see......you get the point. jesus wants us to be able to see in dark places. it's obviously not the same as walking in the light, but i think it's dangerous to discount any light, because it's not the fullness of light.

how often have we judged someone, when what they really needed was love and forgiveness? how often have we ridiculed when we needed to just listen and care? to judge and ridicule is to discount the fact that some light may exist. all people have treasure. it may be hidden deep beneath lies, deception, wounds or self-promotion, but they have it. God created everyone with treasure. HE is the light of the world.

But let me ask you this question. Are we not also the light of the world? How are we displaying the light of the world so that others in dark situations have enough light to see in the midst of their darkness? I think it's possible that you are the letter of God that is being written to humanity and to your world. Paul uses this illustration in some of his letters.

I guess this thought comes up to me, because i know that the enemy loves to live in darkness. i know the dark areas of my heart that need exposure to light. rather than feeling discouraged and the believing that no light exists, i need to look more closely and allow myself to see more dimly. if i see dimly, it will propel me to see more fully. where is the light switch? hard to see in utter darkness, but findable if light is present.

we are powerful people, who need a powerful gospel. we need powerful friends and a powerful community. powerless people look for excuses as to not be powerful. powerful people, who at this may moment may not be strong, are strong because they recognize they need God's power. let us embrace the activity of light in our life. stay encouraged and even if you are only seeing dimly, you are still able to see. let it lead you to a source of great intimacy with God and see the light get brighter.

until next time....

visitors

i have the ability to check who looks at the blog and where they are from. so far i have hits from Florida, South Carolina, New York, Wisconsin, Massachusetts, California, Colorado, Louisiana and Italy. Italy? If you are from one of these states, please leave me a comment and let me know how you found the blog. Do we know each other?



until next

early morning

I woke up early this morning. How about 4:15 am! I knew when I woke up there was no going back to sleep. My mind was in full mode. I wake my wife up at 4:45 and ask her, "do we need milk for the baby?" i know. stupid question. what person wants to be awakened with that question. she answered as only she could, "you want to go the store at 4:30 and get milk?" YES. so i did. i showered, dressed for work, brushed the teeth, etc. and went to everyone's favorite store, Wal-Mart.

There are short lines at 5:15 in the morning at Wal-Mart.

It's now 6:11 am. The house is quiet and dark. The brightness of my laptop cascades a small light in the room. just enough to see a silhouette of things. the smell of the fireplace looms strong. it's nice this time of morning. as i sit i think of the lyrics to a song i love. they go like this (sing them to whatever tune you like),

"i'll never be the same, no, i'll never be the same.
cause i know that you're alive and you came to fix my broken life.
i'll sing to glorify your holy name, Jesus Christ.
fire fall down. fire fall down...on us we pray."

may you experience the quietness of soul and spirit today, so that if HE were to just whisper your name, you would hear it. i pray for those reading this today to experience the tenderness of God's goodness, the extravagance of His kindness and the satisfaction of His love.

until next time....

perseverance

I talked about this topic of perseverance this past Sunday at our church. It has really helped me during this time I'm in and maybe some of you will benefit from this thought.

Perseverance, in James 1.3 is not about running and enduring for enduring sake. There are some rich promises and implications associated with this word. In the Greek it is "hupomonay" which comes from two root words. 1> hupo = by or under 2> mone = remain (in place, time, condition) also to wait with expectation.

I know that is a monumental issue for me. I am waiting, but am I waiting with expectation? What kind of expectation? The testing of my faith (trust, loyalty and way of seeing) is to lead me to maturity. God does not want me to lack anything and have all resources necessary to fulfill the call of God on my life. The bridge, however, between these two is "hupomonay."

So if perseverance means that I remain in place, time and condition, what does that look like?

1. Stay Present in the story. Don't quit. Don't run from the God's pruning process. While you stay present in the story he will show what false idols and misdirected loyalties you may have. He may also tweak the way you view life. Not in the sense of optimism or pessimism, but one of faith or unbelief (Hebrews 3-4).

2. Thrive in the story. There have been days where survival was the mission. If I could survive another meeting, another pruning then I would be successful. That's probably true, but ultimately God wants us to thrive. Joseph did it. Daniel did it. The 3 Hebrews did it. Moses did it. We can do it. We live under a greater promise and with a more intimate relationship with God.

3. Stay united. Perseverance is a process, it's a path to walk, but it also carries a powerful and life changing promise. Notice I said promise. Maturity is a promise not a gurantee. I like what Bill Johnson says, "God is obligated to meet your needs, but he is not obligated to meet your potential." Read John 15 in The Message translation. Intimacy is the key. It is the foundation. Stay in "univision" not "division." James 1 goes on to tell us that division makes us deeply unstable. The test already makes me a bit shaky. I don't want division adding to my instability.

Persevere. You can do it. You will make it. You may have a few scars on the other side, but you will experience realms of God and place in God that can only be obtained through persevering.

until next time....

update...

not a ton to say really. i have all week off. i am traveling to Oklahoma to see my grandpa. i also need to prepare some thoughts this week since i am speaking on sunday.

i hope everyone has a great thanksgiving.

until next time....or until i have something more inspirational to talk about.....

a new name....

If God were to give you a new name do you know what it would be? Have you ever thought about that? I heard of a family that recently named their child after a cartoon character. I laughed. I was also disturbed by that. There is so much power in a name.

I know that Darlene and I have tried to hear what God wants us to name our children. We feel like their name is a reflection of their identity and purpose in life.

1. Matthew (currently 14) - "man of God", "gift of God"
2. Sara (currently 13) - "princess"
3. Lucas Ian (almost 2) - "revelation,light" "grace of God"

Matt is and will demonstrate what it is to be a man of God in a society that is confused about real masculinity. Sara will live as a princess and royalty, much as Esther did. I see the Holy Spirit giving her spiritual beauty treatments (although she is naturally beautiful) and preparing her to labor with God for the rescuing of a generation. Luke is our revelation of grace. He is our little healer much like Luke in the scriptures. He naturally loves on people when they don't feel well. He just has a discernment for it.

Besides your natural name what other name does God give you? I was in prayer once and God spoke to me that a new name I had was Barnabas, Son of Encouragement. Not only does the name reveal an identity and purpose but it also reveals some of our potential struggles. One of my greatest struggles is to stay confident and live with courage. The nature of what I am to dispense is what I struggle with the most. I love "in-couraging" others, while I myself can at times wrestle with discouragement.

Some say Barnabas was the one who mentored Paul. He also saw to the reconciliation of Paul and Mark when they had a feud in Acts. Barnabas never wrote a letter of the NT but he helped write the lives of Paul and Mark. I think that's part of my mission; create a climate of encouragement where "impossible is nothing." It really is acting ilke a father in the faith. I may never write anything famous, but can I labor with God to see his fame displayed in acts of power and grace through others in the kingdom?

So what is the new name God is giving you?
How do you feel about that? Does it call you to a realm of living that stretches your current capacity?
It does me. Let me know your new name so I can see you as God sees you.

until next time.....

parenting....again

i assume that some who read this post are not parents. just consider this a preemptive attempt to encourage you for when you have children. those who are parents. let me know what you think of the following:

Parenting:
Empower children from something to something.
Use declarative prayer over your family.
Weave the scriptures into all of your family life, not just a bible study.
Parent from a place of wisdom and revelation.
Shepherd the heart, more than the behavior.
Remember love never fails and where sin abounds, grace abounds more.
Start parenting your children with the end in mind.

let me know what you think and what tips you use for parenting.

until next time.....

amazed....!!!

I just received an email that is blowing my mind. I can't really share the details, sorry. Know that I am flying pretty high at this moment. I just can't believe how good God is. If you are a local Texas native and we work together, ask me about and I'll be happy to tell you about how God blesses his children. Otherwise, just know that God loves you and is looking out for you.

until next time.....

a buffet of thoughts

ok, this is going to be a very random post. i wanted to capture many of the thoughts that i felt like God has been speaking to me. i hope some of these encourage you.

1. CEO - i am called to be a CEO, the Chief Encouragement Officer
2. Resting in God is a key to intimacy. I must no longer strive in the flesh for what can only be obtained in the Spirit.
3. Keep dreaming. The graveyard of fallen dreams is full enough. I don't want a tombstone that says, "here lies the unfulfilled dreams of lance bane. God had more for him than he could believe."
4. Parenting teenagers is hard, but completely satisfying.
5. Sometimes I want false comfort. It feels satisfactory on the front, but in the end it will cost me more than I wanted to pay. Endure difficulty with joy. Let laughter be the fuel for my journey through the asteroid storm called "life."
6. If I want to do some"thing" for God I must make my life about "one thing."
7. Leadership is about seeing the greatness in people and getting them to see it as well.
8. I can't leapfrog over disappointment expecting to find a pot of gold. If I do not process the disappointment it is a hidden cancer that will strike at me again.
9. Paul says that training is useful for those who compete in the games. I need training to get me into shape.
10. Feeding on God energizes me to believe that "impossible is nothing."
11. I am living in a kingdom that can not be shaken. So how do I get more of the unshakable kingdom into my shakable self.
12. Joy is my strength to the supernatural and peace is my stabilizing force so i am not moved by the wind of circumstances and tragedy.
13. Integrity is measured by the distance between your lips and your life.


That's enough for now.

Until next time....

trying to write.....again

I have booked from 10 am until 4 today for writing. i have not worked on my book yet and it's after 1 pm. however, i have gotten some good things done. i have put together a few projects with some objectives and tasks. i downloaded a new "onething" cd. loving that right now! i have done a bit of research and so i am now ready to work on my book.

i am not sure how you write a book. i am approaching it as a very extended and long research paper. i am gathering sources, thoughts, quotes, stories and general research. i thought of a pastor today who has written several books and thought, "he probably has several research assistants who do some work for him. i have, well, ME."

so off to brainstorming and writing.

i will leave you with this good quote, "Take courage. Offer your sufferings unceasingly to Him. Ask for strength to endure them. Above all, make it a habit to converse often with Him and forget Him as little as you are able. Worship Him in your infirmities and present them to Him from time to time as an offering of sacrifice. In the worst of your pains ask Him humbly and lovingly, as a child would ask his loving father, for conformity to His holy will and for the help of His grace. I will help you in this through my prayers, poor and weak though they may be.”

Brother Lawrence in a letter to a friend, November 1690

love what i do

there are times where i don't like what i do. i guess to be more honest, i love what i do, but there are parts of my job that are difficult.

tonight was a time where i love what i do. i love motivating people to live for a cause that is bigger than our imagination. i love grabbing a generation and speaking the purposes of God in their lives. they are waiting to be challenged. they are wet clay waiting to be shaped. it is an honor beyond description to share with students thoughts and truths that can help them view the world from a biblical perspective.

i discussed tonight the conclusion to our "do something" thought. you can only do some "thing" if you make your life about "one thing." Psalm 27.4 says, "this one thing I ask, this one thing I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life." my single confession should be the greatness of His presence. My sole pursuit should be an intimate lifestyle with God. being a husband, being a father, being a leader are all contained in my identity as a son of God. intimacy with God is the envelope that carries all other roles and hats.

anyway....i am kind of ranting, but I am feeling good. i am excited about my day. i got pruned, but it was for my benefit. i keep looking at the things that are cut from my life (while they lay are the ground losing their evidence life - similar to a cut tree branch) then i live discouraged and frustrated. instead i need to look at the picture of a tree who produces more rich, sweet and tasty fruit. It's not because of the water or sunlight only, but because I am willing to be pruned.

to God be the glory.


until next time....

i'm blown away

i just noticed mark sanborn, author of "the fred factor" and "you don't need a title to be a leader" left a comment on my blog. it may not be a big deal to anyone else, but i was kind of blown away by that. how did he find it? i want to know how to email him. i have questions. was he "googling" his name?

anyway...i'm totally blown away. should the fact that an author left a comment on my blog make my day? it kind of does. it makes me smile.

thank you mark for your kindness and for taking the time to comment on my blog. i am honored. bless you, your family and your business adventures.

until next time....

doing something

i just finished reading a good little book on leadership. it's entitled, "you don't need a title to be a leader" by mark sanborn. it has a quote by General Peter Pace of the U.S. Marines.

"One thing the Marine Corps teaches is that it's better to be doing something than doing nothing. If you stay where you are, you're in the position where your enemy wants you to be. If you start doing something, you are changing the rules of the game."


i really love this quote for a couple of reasons. one, we have been teaching and encouraging our students for the last two months to "do something." i think General Pace summed up our motivation and what we were feeling about the series. People who are somebodies "do something" while people who believe they are "no bodies" will "do nothing."

the second reason i love the quote is because it places us in a proactive position. frankly, i get tired of reacting to everything. i know there are times and places where "reacting" is inevitable. it's not a lifestyle i want to live. i want to be proactive when i can. i want to be intentional about my life. i want to make decisions based upon the Holy Spirit's leadership and what wisdom he has given me. i feel more engaged and excited about life when i am proactive instead of reactive. i want the spiritual forces, that are at work against us, to react to our decisions and choices. i want them to react to our choices that are made with faith and expectation.

let's change the rules of the game by doing something. who can you smile at today that needs it? who can you encourage today? who can you serve today? how can you make someone's day better? what nugget of enthusiasm and life can you give the world today?

do something and change the rules.

until next time....

parenting

it's one thing to pastor a group of teenagers and something very different to have teenager children in your home.

so my challenge is not to react, but to be proactive in my parenting. i can not lose my joy or my peace. they are my strength and my stability.

prayer is needed.

until next time.....

a rich day....

i had a weed that became a tree over the last 5 years. it grew right beside my home and for the last couple of years has been rubbing against my home and the shingles. i got a bid on cutting the tree out. it was $325. i laid in bed thinking, "i could go buy a pole saw from one of the box stores and save money." so that's what i did. yesterday morning i let my 13 year old stay home from school and she, Luke (my almost 2 year old) and myself went to the store. so what did I do yesterday? spent time with my daughter and wife cutting down a tree and then clipping all the branches into small, manageable pieces. it was hard work, but very rewarding spending that time with my favorite two ladies.

then I spent the afternoon at a local high school football practice. the coach has invited me in on a weekly basis to do a team devotion before each game. what an honor. i thought it would be well served to visit them during practice and be visible. they have taken to me and me to them. i love that group of guys. one young man told me that he goes to church, but because of school commitments he can't make it to his youth group. he essentially told me that i was his youth pastor. i melted a bit inside. i did not perceive myself in such a way. nothing quite like a statement like that to shock you into the reality and influence of one's leadership.

after praying for some of the injuries and chatting I went home and grilled steaks with Luke. I had dinner wtih my family. It was at the dinner table no less (which is getting harder for us to do as a family.) then i topped my evening off by sitting in my living room during my favorite part of the day. it was about 9:30pm. Luke was asleep. Matt and Sara were hanging out together (that's a beautiful miracle), my wife was relaxing with a book. i turned on some worship music, living room lights down low and a cup of hot black chai tea. i prayed. i reflected on my day. i felt richer than Warren Buffet and Bill Gates.

i love God. i love life. i love my kids. i love my wife. thank you Jesus. i give you all the crediit.

until next time.....

am i insane?

i just finished sending an email to a friend who would like to know what i am going to discuss at revolution (our student ministry meeting) so they would know how to pray.

i compiled my information and sent it off to them. after doing so i immediately thought, "that sounds like a great book." am i insane? i have not even scratched the surface of the first book, much less begin to work on a second.

this is what i am concerned about. my style of leadership will get bored with one subject or idea and immediately move on to another. follow through is not a strength. help?

i must stay devoted to the original title and keep this other subject on the back burner. that's really hard, because my original book thought was concerning dreams and passions. am i getting the dream of writing books. oh God help me......

until next time....

the dream thing

i have been playing this one key song for some time. if not in public, for sure in my heart and mind. it's the one key of dreaming. i have been asked, "what do you dream about?" many times i don't have an answer. what have i learned? that it's much easier to motivate others to dream and not really dream yourself. i have learned the behavior of hiding behind others. i hate to admit it, but i do. there have been times where i have hidden behind the gifts and talents of others. when doing so i am void of responsibility and have not the ability to fail. i also have no ability to succeed. so how sweet does success taste? it must be more sweet that the bitter taste of disappointment.

dreams are a big part of this. we dream, but do not want to disappointment. how do i prepare for disappointment when i am planning to do something risky? how do i look at the mountain of potential hurt or rejection and still mount up the stallion of faith and charge the mountain? faith does not ignore the mountain, it simply charges it.

the new adidas commercials are very kingdom minded, even if they do not know it. i like the story of reggie bush and gilbert arenas as they talk about their emergence into their professional sports. the commercials conclude with the phrase, "impossible is nothing."

that must be how i view my dreams. the prisons and pits that i live in today are promotional opportunities for palaces. some of my greatest assets are the people who dislike me the most. why? because in their persecution, my determination and belief in the dream are tested.

have you ever wondered what joseph thought when he had his dream of leadership as a teen boy? did he know that it would take him to egypt? did he know that his brothers would despise him and sell him into slavery?

could God have gotten joe to egypt some other way than selling him into slavery? after all, he had a destiny and mandate for national leadership. i would think, that God could get me into my dream world in a more pleasant and comfortable way. nope; not God's style. his style is one of tests and tribulations. james said we should consider it all joy. perhaps the key to thriving in the midst of difficulty is what we are considering. do we consider him who is faithful? do we consider our circumstances over our vision? do we consider the devil and his attempts at embezzling our dream or do we fix our eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith? it was in a day that joseph went from the pit to the palace. it can be in a moment, when God has seen our endurance, our faithfulness, our perseverance and our pursuit of him that he unlocks the doors of promotion and puts in a place of leadership. the dream world can be the real world. the choice is ours. God help me stay focused on you and all that you are doing in my life. let the intimacy i have with you lead me with confidence and assurance into storms and difficulties. if jesus can sleep in the midst of a death storm so can I. not because i am ignorant, but because i am a peacemaker and peace keeper. i believe Him who is able to keep that which i have committed to him until the day of his promotion.

until next time.....

not writing

well i wanted to write today, i really did, but i didn't. i got distracted with some other things. they were productive, but not in the area of writing. i guess i am going to write when i feel the inspiration. i live a lot by the calendar, but somehow writing doesn't seem to appreciate my need for a schedule. i will try again next week.

frustrating? yes, a little.

until next time....

writing

working on my book tomorrow. i am not sure of a title. it's about dreamers and dreaming. i have several things to listen to tomorrow. i listen to them because they are inspirational and they stir my mind and heart. as i said in the first or second blog entry, this blog is a step towards fulfilling the mandate to write.

i would appreciate any comments you may have about my posts. good or bad, the input is helpful.

what would you title a book about dreaming? it's not literal "night dreaming", but living for that passion. living for what makes you burn.

until next time.....

early morning prayer

i woke up early this morning. 4:15 am! i have been waking up at that hour for many days now. i do know that the Holy Spirit is inviting me to something. honestly, i usually toss and turn until i go back to sleep, but today i knew that God was inviting me to spend some time with him. so i got up, found a worship cd, turned it down low and prayed.

it was very good.

graham cooke shared with us in september that we were in a "and suddenly" moment, in our church and in our lives personally. never a "truer" statement has been said. there are many questions that i have in my heart. many decisions that i am processing. there is much that needs to be transformed and transfigured in my life, heart and leadership.

confession? i over analyze things. i am cautious about the paths in front of me because i am leading with the mind and not the spirit. this gets back to my other post entitled "jump". read that for context with this post. i know i should not be led with the mind and reason, but it is very, very hard. so this morning was sharing those open emotions with my dad and letting his peace rest in my heart. i want to be a peacemaker first, a peacekeeper second.

this morning at 5:00 am i also experience the purest form pleasure i could imagine. i thought about my kids and how truly incredible they are. i love them. not for what they do, but for who they are. are they perfect? no, but they are mine. are they pursuing God the way i want? no, but they are mine. are they studying as hard as may like? i don't know, but they are mine. in knowing they are mine, i know they are HIS. i love them. I told Matt and Sara today that they are a good son and a good daughter. I am glad I have them. As for Luke, he is no less a pleasure. I love the way he is beginning to talk. I love his soft, tender skin, his complexion, his blue eyes, his blonde hair, the way he runs, the way he laughs, the way he says, "Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad" (in rapid succession.) above are a few pics of my pleasure.

i have said lately that the night watches of prayer are the best. if i truly believe that, then i should have more of them at home. i think i will......

until next time.....

running with others

last night was young adult group at the babin's new home. as it is with the kingdom and with life, it's difficult to communicate the quality and the love of that meeting. our format last night was for those to share their favorite passages of scripture.

we heard:

james 1 (the message)
psalm 27
romans 8
psalm 65

there were others but i can't remember what they were. after reading the passages we had a time of response to the word while listening to Rick Pino's "Angels of Awakening."

it was an incredible night and we were experiencing God at a spiritual level, soulish level and physical level.

i love our young adults. they are high quality. they are passionate lovers. they are growing and maturing and becoming the crowns of all of God's creation. i looked around the room and just thought about how much i love them and how honored i am to be one of their leaders. i reflect on how much they have grown. how the young ladies are becoming princesses and will make incredible wives and mothers some day. the young men are growing stronger and more powerful. they will make awesome husbands and fathers.

this feels like why i am alive. to give leadership and help establish the culture of the kingdom in the lives of people.

to the young adults of church of the hills.....I love you and count it an honor to run with you.

until next time.....

in honor of....

if you are like me you have noticed the many "pink" events going on, or the "pink" items for sale. it's breast cancer awareness month. you may be wondering why i am writing about this issue. i guess i am writing today to honor my mom, who died from breast cancer just over two years ago.

this post is dedicated to her.

she was an amazing woman. the short version is that my mom and divorced when i was very young, 4 or 5. i have two older siblings and they were around 11 and 13 when my parents divorced. needless to say, as the baby of the family i was spoiled.

my mom poured tremendous amounts of love into my life. she is my hero. she was tenacious, wise and kind. life dealt her, at times, a difficult hand, but she played with courage and conviction. there are many, many stories i could share, but i would like to share this one.

near the end of her life, she would often "space" out. i am not sure if you have been around someone facing death and slowly dying, but i have. my mom would watch things around the room, but nothing would be there. i believe, as my mom got closer to death, she was beginning to see into that "invisible" spiritual realm. i know she was seeing angels.

during this two week time, my wife and i were expecting our third child. my mom deeply, deeply loved her grandkids. we were hoping she would live to see Luke's birth, but she did not make it. however, she told us the story, about a week before her death, of when the angel showed up in the front yard and let her see the baby. it's a wild story and one that would lengthen this post considerably. needless to say, i believe my mom saw Luke before we did. she could not stop talking about how beautiful the baby was.

i am grateful to God for my mom. i simply do not how to talk about her because she exceeds the english vocabulary. i love her. i miss her. i dedicate my life to in a way that honors her legacy. i am thankful that women around the word will get check-ups because of "breast cancer awareness", but i am more thankful that in the midst of tragedy we have an awareness of God's sustaining grace and supernatural power. i would rather focus on the cure than the cancer. i prayed for my mom's healing. it happened. not the way i wanted, but i know she lives today cancer free. she walks the streets with angels, my grandmother, jesus and countless others who have overcome death because of Jesus.

THANK YOU JESUS!


until next time....

learning...

i love learning. i did not do well in college. why? because i was immature. i couldn't handle my freedom. i like what a friend of mine says, "freedom is about managing choices." maturity is about making the right choices and honoring the relationship i have with myself, my family, my finances, my destiny, etc.

but back to learning. i love reading articles, blogs and various news sites. i confess i visit drudgereport.com about 5-6 times a day. i am a news junkie. i listen to talk radio when i can. any kind. i watch c-span and boring committee meetings about useless things to my day to day living.

i love learning because i value intellect. i do not value it over faith, but i want to be known as smart. why is that important to me? am i trying to validate a bad college experience?

my wife is brilliant as well as my 3 kids. i better learn or i'll be the "dumb" one in my family.

i also waste a lot of paper in my reading and learning. i print articles and read them. i would rather have a hard copy in my hand and not read it on my computer screen. you never know, i might want to write on it, or jot down a question.

so all in all, i love learning and asking questions. i think it's biblical? jesus asked many questions? he was smart.

until a more intellectual next time....

ranting....

there are many things i would like to say about what i am experiencing and feeling, but the nature of this format will not allow me to do that. God has me in a very uncomfortable position. many things seem to be out of control. i know that's an exaggeration, however, there are things going on in my family and in my work that are stretching me. what's ironic, is that i know there is more room to be stretched. i am not close to the breaking point....yet.

the Lord is good. His ways are good. i need to get to my "inner room" and re-evaluate purposes, strengths, gifting and desires.

i've typed several sentences and "erased" all of them. this blog is a bit to introspective for my own spiritual health.

let's see.............
my family is healthy.
my marriage is good.
i am financially stable.

life really is pretty good.

what i do feel is lonely at times. there are issues that i would like to discuss, but with whom? i have friends, but the nature of these issues are sensitive enough that i have to be very selective. i need some good counsel.

until next time....

back in the saddle

i'm back.

it was a great time of relaxing and resting with my wife, Darlene. we saw beautiful scenery, visited some great friends and enjoyed a great conference.

here are the highlights:

> Blake and Bonnie are doing very well. We found out they are going to be parents.
> i still think in'n'out burgers are overrated.
> there's not a great place to eat in fortuna, california
> the drive down "the avenue of the giants" was very cool. basically we drove through the redwood forest.
> we met an elderly man in his 70's at lunch. he sat at our table and encouraged. he has two sons who are pastors, a grandson who is pursuing ministry. all of his family is serving God and working to the benefit of others. i want a legacy like that.
> clif bars are my favorite new snack
> freedom is managing choices
> everyone needs a jonathan, a nathan and an armor bearer
> "grasshopper" vision does not serve anyone well (numbers 13)
> kingdom of God is at war with fear
> "train a child in the way they should go..." and make sure they go POWERFULLY
> "people without vision perish, dreams without courage die." Rosa Parks
> trying to protect rules = religion. trying to protect relationships = LOVE

....and finally....

> "fairy stories are not so much a journey into enchanted forests, but a journey into our own soul." Tolkien


more coming later.


- lance

update

i'm in northern california for a conference on spiritual royalty as well as some r&r with my wife. there has been much said. more than i can write about at this moment. the ground of my heart feels saturated with what has been said. it's difficult to hold more spiritual truth and it not be the "run off" in my heart.

i will say, as a "D" type personality and a prophetic voice, I need what Danny Silk teaches. He is a great teacher on relationships and parenting. Here is church website is www.ibethel.org.

i will update more next week.

blessings.

lance

realization

There are times when conversations with other people feel like you are emotionally and spiritually eating your favorite meal. You feel built up, encouraged and hopeful.

I had one of those times today.

I am a very good leader. Leadership defined as the ability to cast a compelling vision, motivate others, be a visionary, etc.

I am not a very good manager. This diagnosis was given to me today. I believe it. I felt liberated when I heard it. I thought, "that's exactly what I have been trying to nail down for the last 10-12 years." I do not know why I have not discovered it. Maybe I didn't want to because it would require such radical change. Maybe I didn't because I didn't know how to embrace the learning curve that I would get on. Maybe I didn't because I didn't have the reference point to identify it. It would be like a cocktail waitress giving a medical diagnosis. I simply had not reference point for it.

But that is all in the past. I am a present to future thinker. So what am I going to do?

A few things. And these few things are going to be intentional, difficult and much fun. I love to learn, so this process should be good.

1. Pray.
The Holy Spirit seems like the ultimate manager. The Father released the vision. Jesus lived it out and gave us the resources to fulfill the vision. The Holy Spirit is the manager and leader.

2. Read.
In particular I am reading to Marcus Buckingham books.

3. Seek the advice of other good managers.

4. Audit a college course on business management.

I will try and keep you posted on how this is going. Please pray for me to receive the impartation and revelation of the Holy Spirit concerning this new skill set. The Holy Spirit has been preparing me for this for almost a year. It is in an unusual way, but it's been happening. He has continually been speaking to me about "sonship." That is so important because as I grow in that security two things happen.

1. I feel no need to impress anyone.
2. I have nothing to prove to anyone.

That type of security sets me up to learn this lesson publicly with the opportunity for much failure. It won't matter to my identity, because I am secure as a son with nothing to prove and no one to impress.

I hope you all have a great week. I will be off line for about two weeks as my wife and go for a get a way to the Northwest.

Until next time...

tangled webs

i just got done talking with a friend who is really hurting. his life is a tangled web of issues, problems and struggles. he knows Jesus. but what i hate is the power of sin and discouragement. the enemy is extremely ruthless and vile. he'll go to no end to destroy the glory of who we were meant to be.

i determine to be just as tenacious in loving, praying and walking in the identity of jesus. i will be who he says i am. nothing less.

just ranting because i see a family being ravaged by sin and it's fruit.


until a more joyful next time.....

JUMP - continued

so i will continue what i started yesterday. here goes....

4. i don't know how to balance risk and wisdom.
i Isaiah 11 talks about how the Holy Spirit shows up in certain ways. the spirit of wisdom and revelation. the spirit of counsel and might. the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. this is what I felt like the Lord spoke to me, "I will give you a spirit of counsel and might, wisdom and revelation, because I want you to know me intimately. To reverence adn live in awe of me is the start to wisdom. I release the spirit of the fear of the Lord. I am motivating you towards wisdom and revelation. John 8.32, "know the truth" and be free. I give wisdom so you can risk, not to keep you from it."

5. i don't jump because i love comfort.
1 corinthians 14.3 says that prophecy is for edification, exhortation and comfort. edification is to "build up", exhortation is to "draw near" and comfort is "to cheer up." i need the prophetic when i am uncomfortable. i need the prophetic to help give me vision and to release me to a direction. this is what the Lord said to me, "would you rather have comfort from me or from yourself? you only need comfort because you are uncomfortable/fatigued. I give rest to the weary. i comfort my people. I comfort them because it makes their batteries recharge so they can advance the kingdom."

6. i won't jump because it will require great energy and effort. it's a fear of being lazy. coasting and existing rather than really living.
i was thinking about 1 samuel 14 and how jonathan got tired of sitting around while his dad, king saul, sits under a pomegranate tree. Jonathan says to his armor bearer, "let's go over there and PERHAPS the Lord will act on our behalf." I don't know about you but the thought of a "perhaps" doesn't sound like a guarantee. But as we read, God acted on their behalf and Israel had a great victory that day. Here is what the Lord said to me, "More gets done from a position of rest. Resting which is a manifestation of trust, while anxiety will paralyze you or move you to do things in the strength of human power not divine power. Rest illustrates that heaven is changing the scene. It's a faith move. I rest my mind because I am living with the mind of Christ. I rest in human initiated effort because the human behavior i have now is a reflection of God's activity. I will not dictate every detail, but want you to renew your mind so that I trust you. Your personality is important. A coach designs plays, but he doesn't tell them how to run. I have designs and plan, but they are executed through your personality and the type of relationship you have with God. resting gets much done. rest in me and eat the spoils of the enemy. rest is not inactivity but living int rust and operating in God's power.

Then I said, "If I don't trust maybe it's because I"m looking at the wrong thing. Psalm 22.4 says that "trust will breed deliverance." Also in Exodus 14.31 when the Israelites saw what God did to Egypt they trusted in God.

The father then said, "If you choose to lean on one thing, it's because you can't lean on something else. Change what you are leaning on."

7. i don't jump because i'm looking at the wrong thing. (hebrews 2.18-3.1, 12.2, Psalm 141.8)
the father said, "don't let what's wrong with you or with the world keep you from worshiping what's right with God. Meditate, fix your eyes and focus on me and the connection we have. Remember "as the Father sent me, so i send you." I get the same resources and quality of sending as Jesus.



I am still processing all of this and praying through it. I would appreciate your prayers as well.

How about you, do any of these things keep you from leaping in the unknown of God's activity? If not, what is on your list that keeps you from jumping?

until next time....

JUMP

Just to let you know, this post will be a bit longer than usual.

Several weeks ago my pastor asked me to speak on September 9th. I took my normal approach. Prayer. Meditation. Consulting my journal and what God had been speaking to me. After traveling down this familiar path I had nothing. Nothing seemed to grab my heart and nothing seemed to be the "subject" of Sunday's message.

I was getting down to the 11th hour (see previous post) and was getting concerned. My only saving grace is that our church had started, on September 9th mind you, 40 days of 24/7 prayer and fasting. I signed up for a 5-7 am shift. I knew I had those two hours to hear from heaven. Then I had 3 hours to process that download and share with my community of faith.

What transpired was no where on my radar. Some time between midnight and 4:15 am (which is when I woke up to get ready for my prayer time) I had a dream. It was short but straight to the point. In my dream I had "jumped" and was free falling. I wasn't sky diving, but it felt that way. Graham Cooke was in my dream. He had just spoken at our church a couple of days earlier. I knew he was in my dream because he was a catalyst and initiator of living by a greater realm of faith. In my dream I asked God, "why did I jump?" "What am I jumping into?" I asked it to God frustrated that I had jumped and I did not know why. The father spoke this me in my dream, "That's the problem. You want to know what you are jumping into before you jump. I want to know will you jump into the unknown and trust me?"

So with this dream as the backdrop I entered into our little 24/7 prayer room. I turned up the worship real loud and sat there. I sensed that I should write in my journal some reasons as to why I won't jump. Let's wrestle with my fears and inabilities. After all, the dream was not as much a correction as it was an invitation to make the necessary changes in my life. So this blog is a list of some of what i said to God and what he said back. I hope it encourages you as much as it does me.

1. Father I'm scared to leap because of the responsibility I feel for my family.
I'm married and have 3 kids, (14, 13, 1 1/2). I'm afraid of leaping and leaving my family behind. I do not now and will not allow ministry to become a higher priority than them. However, that good motivation can get to an extreme in me. I actually fail to embrace costly opportunities because I do not want to be a "fatherless" father. By trying to avoid this dilemma I can actually fulfill it. My children have a dad who is around all the time, but has failed to role model what it means to take risk and live a life fully devoted to God. This is what the Lord said to me (as recorded in my journal), "I'm more responsible for them than you are. Let's steward this together. Just know i'll provide the equity and resources. You just provide the access, availability and abandonment."

2. I won't leap because I'm more focused on the destination than I am the journey.
He says, "that in this hour of training the vision is the journey. The vision is not a destination that you find in google maps, rather it's a discovery into the caverns of your heart. Even when you discover "the destination", without the journey you have perverted your training and short changed the resources you need for the destination." (Luke 6.40, Hebrews 12.11)

3. I won't jump because I feel uncertain about safety.
He says, "Why do you value safety more than risk? Staying safe is more risky than trusting what you don't see. Safety is more risky because it's based upon man's ability to create safety and sustain it. That will lead to idolatry. It's idolatry because I do not always live in the land of safety. Therefore what is your hope placed in? What are you worshiping in that place? Can you show me a place where I was "safe" in the scriptures? Your safety is in me and in me, we will take risk and jump even if you do know know into what you are jumping. Do not take foolish risk. Seek counsel, but not so as to reason it out, but seek those who may or may not bear witness. (Psalm 4.8, 33.17)


I will share some of the other things tomorrow. But what the Lord shared with me when I was done writing my list is this. Lance, today is a transaction day. I want my people to give up their fears, etc. and I will give them my courage, faith, risk, etc. It's a transaction day. I want their to be a transaction between heaven and earth. Transactions are funny. I'm only willing to spend money for things I want or need. I want Jesus and need Jesus so I am willing to spend whatever is necessary. That's a transaction that feels like a win/win.

I believe for you (whoever may be reading this) that we are still in a place for transactions. Take time right now and make a transaction with God. Jesus paid the price. Give up your stuff and receive his nature and power. It's a good deal because he is a good Father.

Until next time....

the 11th hour

I was talking with a friend the other day. He was sharing how he noticed God was showing up in the 11th hour. He needed provision and God seemed to be waiting to the 11th hour. I sensed the Holy Spirit tell me, "It wasn't God's 11th hour." The challenge, for us to have our timing in sync with God's. What feels like an 11th hour, may actually be the appropriate time. God give us the wisdom and discernment to know that our timing is in line with your timing.

Until next time....

graham cooke

if you are not familiar with who graham cooke then i'll fill you in. he is a strong prophetic voice in the kingdom right now. he lives in vacaville, california. his message has much to do with who we are in Christ and living out of that reality. he is speaking at our church (last night) as well as tonight.

here are few of my notes from his message and/or stuff i got from our meeting with him this morning.

how can a Christian be happy in a world that operates in powerlessness?

the "suddenlies" of God generate momentum in our journey. you can't walk at the same pace any longer.

i operate in this life at two levels:
a> relational: as a son of God
b> functional: as a servant/slave/steward to humanity

you can not place the kingdom inside of the church, but you are to place the church inside the kingdom.

prophetic words are mile markers that help us track our journey and direction.

to say "yes" to a new season is to say "no" to an old one.

prophecy is history written in advance.

changed minds can only follow changed hearts.

*this is my favorite*

prophecy says there is a better version of "you" on the way!



I love that! I need to know there is a better version of me on the way. I am loving what Graham is talking about. it is a lot of things to process, but i walk out of each meeting feeling and knowing the love of God at a heart and experiential level. i really need that right now in the season i'm in.

oh yeah, here's one more.

when God is hidden, he has not left you, he is just not a reality at the emotional level. he invented hide and seek. he hides and we seek. what a great journey to discover the kindest person we could ever meet...God!


until next time....

prayer request

we have a media/tech position available at our church. it's part time and i need some prayer support for selecting the right individual. currently we have no one in the pipeline. that's my greatest prayer need. also pray for us to have competent and excellent leadership in this area.

thanks.

things i learned when...(cont'd)

6. Progress feels good and is fuel for the project
* it's not enough to just have the vision of the project, but i need to see progress. progress is a testimony that the "project" can be completed. progress speaks to the incompetence that i may feel and let's me know that i can do it. sitting back and looking at the completed ceramic tile feels good. it motivates me to take on a bigger project. it's a bit like the spies who went into the promised land. it's one thing to have a promise, something quite different to take risk. progress tells me that the reward is worth the risk. so what progress are you making towards your dreams and destiny?

7. Projects happen in stages
* God told the Israelites to take the promised land. But taking the promised land started with one city. then another city. then another. i have prophetic promises, as you do, but they serve as a motivator and as a compass on where i should be going. to get to the fulfillment of the promise i need to take it stages. Exodus 23.30 says, "Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land."



God is on the move. I remember what was quoted at the end of "The Chronicles of Narnia" (the movie). Speaking of Aslan, the Lion, "He's no tame lion. But he is good."

Until next time....experience His goodness and pleasure over you.

things i learned when...

over the weekend i installed ceramic tile and a new toilet in my kids bathroom. it was my first endeavor on laying ceramic tile. here's what i learned about life....

1. life is not always square
*is it not true that when you think things are going smoothly suddenly life is no longer square and you have to make some odd adjustments. the unrenewed mind rarely comprehends the unusual "cuts" that must be made in life. the goal is to renew the mind so that any "cut" is possible and reasonable. God knows where he is leading me, he just doesn't feel me in until he thinks it's necessary. there is realm of revelation that i need.

2. projects are better when done with others.
*a good friend of mine helped me out. the project went faster than i had expected. the company was more enjoyable. i was less frustrated at myself for knowing that i don't know what i'm doing. i had another set eyes looking at the process, problems and solutions. plus, we laughed and talked about the kingdom.

3. preparation is as important as skill.
*i have a tendency to jump into projects and not count the cost. didn't Jesus say something about that? after starting projects and making more trips to the home improvement store that i care to recount, i learned to prepare so once i'm in the project i can focus on the project and not what i'm forgetting. much is life, that if i know God is wanting to work on something, i should count the cost and prepare so that i can give my full attention to living a life that's in agreement with the Holy Spirit.

4. the right tools matter.
*one of the joys of doing this project was the use of my brother's wet saw. this thing was a work of art and a beautiful piece of machinery. it cut down on our work load. increased our efficiency. we not only had the wet saw but many other tools that we needed. in life, the right tools matter. what are the tools you have which are what marcus buckingham calls your "strengths." do you use them? what are the "tools" that you have not discovered yet, but they lie hidden in your spiritual tool bag? in the project of life, the right "tools" matter.

one more....

5. Laying tile is easier when I call someone who has already done it.
*so my brother laid 400 sq ft. of tile in his house. my project was about 30 sq. ft. so what did i do when i was preparing for the project? i called him. often. i must have called him 10-15 times. what kind of grout do it get? what kind of trowel do i get? how big? etc. etc. etc. there are places in my journey with God that i want to get. i want to, as Jesus said in matthew 10, "heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers and cast out demons." i do not always get breakthrough. i know some who do though. so i ask them, "what's your lifestyle? how are you doing these amazing things?" there are people who have done, what i am just attempting. i can make it easier on myself by receiving their inheritance and benefit from their pioneering labor.


i will write down the other things i learned tomorrow. until next time....

waiting

i was reading a friend's blog and he was talking about waiting versus leaving. good subject. thanks preston for posting it. it has caused me to think about my own position and what God is doing in me. there are times when i think about leaving. who doesn't think that? there are times when i think about staying. how do you balance the tension? i feel like the man who walks on the high wire with a 20 foot pole used for balancing. on one end of my pole is the truth that i can't allow myself to get too comfortable in my "staying". on the other end of the pole is the truth that i can't let fear keep me from leaving.

thus the balancing act. one in which i do not balance well.

i find that i get confused. i over analyze. i hear mentors say, don't move until you are led by the Spirit. i have others who say, God will not move until you move. what? why such conflicting positions?

it's easy to be paralyzed by the unknown. it's easy to complicate the process and journey that one has with God.

i hear andy stanley in my head. "less is more." "simple is better."

okay, i'm trying to get it.

anyone else struggle with this balancing act?

called to write

I went to "The Call" in Nashville in July. On the way home, at the Nashville airport I run into a national prophetic voice. I had never met this person, but I knew who they were by face and reading some of their books. I introduced myself and just wanted to thank them for their service to the kingdom. Ends up, they wanted to chat. Needless to say in the midst of the conversation they ask me, "do you write?" I said, "no." They then said, as they leaned in closer to my face, "maybe you should think about it." Now considering the source I received it as a strong prophetic word. So what have I done since July 8th....nothing. I contemplated a blog. I thought about a blog. I read other blogs and measure mine as less than quality in comparison. Less than two weeks after I returned home a trusted friend shares with me that they see me as "writing books." OK, I get the point Abba. You want me to write. I do not like to write, but give me a grace for it. Release to me an impartation for creative and anointed writing.

The previous encounters are a big reason why I am blogging today.

I have a tendency to make the blog a personal online journal. I do not like that because writing in a journal is therapeutic. It's a place for me to be real, raw and transparent. There's no fear of judgment when I am the only one reading it. I will let my legacy and history judge my journal and my life. I most often write my journal as if I am writing to God or to my kids. I want them to know of my journal and the struggles I had. I also want them to celebrate with me.

So what does all that have to do with this site....just trying to honor the word that I got. I am doing something. It's not the fullness of the word, but perhaps God will act on when I take a step and move forward. I do not know if many others will read this or even care, but it is not for them as much as it is for me to be disciplined to write.

So until next time....